Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The World and Choices
Reading Disappointment With God by Philip Yancey, and being deeply mentored by the Spirit. Some things God is revealing of His heart are breaking my heart again.
In the very act of giving us choice, God sacrificed Himself. He knew He would not leave us, and the pain of our choices would be His as well. The ultimate heart of a free and loving Papa.
Isaiah 63: 4b-5
"...And My year of redemption has come. I looked, and there was no one to help, And I was astonished and there was no one to uphold; So my own arm brought salvation to me, And my wrath upheld me."
Isaiah 63: 7
"I will make mention of the lovingkindnesses of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, According to all that the Lord has granted us, And the great goodness toward the house of Israel, Which He has granted them according to His compassion And according to the abundance of His lovingkindnesses. For He said, "Surely, they are my people, Sons who will not deal falsely." So He became their Savior. In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the angel of His presence saved them; In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them, And He lifted them all the days of old."
Isaiah was dreaming, seeing, asking questions of God; Israel was being taken by the Assyrians. At that time it seemed unavoidable--even logical--to blame God for physically visible destitution. Through struggle Isaiah received God's heart-dream of salvation. Instead of separating Himself from God he served the launching of God's passion and provision, making history. I read this morning that it has been recorded and accepted that Isaiah may have been the one Hebrews refers to being "sawn in two" because he would not worship idolatrously (Halley's p. 285). His vision of the love of God's heart had blinded Him to all else.
Hebrews 11:32-38
"And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground."
In this world, we can't expect to stand on a foundation of fairness, but God--alive in eternity--is kind and good, with a heart of equality, dignity and respect, so we have been given chances to make a difference here. Our focus should not be whether or not things are fair in this life, but instead how much salt and light we can spread with the mercy we are given.
Time and mercy are intrinsically linked throughout God's story of us (Yancey, p.91).
On Earth every stand for the mind-bending goodness that flows from God is a sacrifice and the Holy Spirit teaches and comforts us through our allotted surrenders. Our world is numbed in it's ability to recognize and receive true goodness. We can trust God with the balance of the universe we live in and never be surprised with difficulty here. We live powerfully with heavenly authority amidst a great resistance. One way or another, when faith is our conduit, we overcome.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Love
God, please tell me I am getting somewhere, I am accomplishing something. If there is one thing that might fringe on making me crazy at this moment, I think it would be to realize I had accomplished nothing--wasted my life and lived for myself. Have I forsaken the Kingdom? (I spew this type of worry when I begin to let performance define me.)
As Chambers writes in "The Ministry of the Unnoticed", not all Christian disciples can be Peter or the Apostle Paul, but that in no way disqualifies their fervency or sincerity, because they were not central, not visible at the lead. (There must have been hundreds of completely sincere disciples besides the twelve.)
Over and over again I see God as a Shepherd of Shepherds, A Servant of All. I know this can mean any number of things, but most of all Jesus was a servant. He was not a gatherer of the public eye. He was not popular in the sense that we know the word.
His life was made less than anything, though He had everything. I want to learn this humility, because it means rest; the rest that will carry me through being seen and unseen, as the Lord's will takes me.
No, I do not think Jesus is sympathetic with my perceived lack of popularity, or the opportunities I want to make fit that pass by me. I think these surface quandaries lead the way to His heart, so there is no obsession or reason to live other than knowing Him. There are no eyes that must see me any certain way. Least of all my own, and what I wanted for my own life has been forgotten a long time ago (I declare what all I dream of forgetting.)...in order for His dreams to take me. What I do or do not do does not so much matter. The way I love Him matters. If I lived in a jail cell, physically doing nothing but loving Him with my whole heart, my life would still not be wasted. In fact, love within limitations all the more shows the freedom He has given me to give myself to Him.
I am not deciding today to do any certain thing or start an particular work or project. I hear from God it will be more than sufficient to love Him and see what happens.
Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in Spirit/Chambers pg. 661
"Literally: Blessed are the paupers in Spirit" (A pauper is exceedingly common place.) The average type of preaching emphasizes strength of will, beauty of character--the things that can easily be noticed. The phrase "Decide for Christ" which we so often hear is too often an emphasis on the thing our Lord never trusted. Our Lord never asks us to decide for Him, He asks us to yield to Him--A very different matter. At the basis of Our Lord's Kingdom is the unaffected loveliness of the common place."
For those of us who look at those in the lead and wonder why we ourselves have not been placed in similar positions, we must wrestle with this ambition and jealousy, overtake it, and allow God to put into our own hands our own destiny. Truly, we would not be happy living someone else's. In short, at the root of my struggle with the mundane is my rebellion against God and my unwillingness to accept His precise goodness in His placement of the times of my life. The idea Chambers expresses is that to abort our divine pathway with God in order to steal someone else's or conjure up our own, would plunge us into un-Christlikeness, as opposed to an immersion in His presence--the cure for every antsiness known to man.
What was the last thing God asked me personally to do, no matter how "small"? He assures me,there is no lack of power in any act of love.
As Chambers writes in "The Ministry of the Unnoticed", not all Christian disciples can be Peter or the Apostle Paul, but that in no way disqualifies their fervency or sincerity, because they were not central, not visible at the lead. (There must have been hundreds of completely sincere disciples besides the twelve.)
Over and over again I see God as a Shepherd of Shepherds, A Servant of All. I know this can mean any number of things, but most of all Jesus was a servant. He was not a gatherer of the public eye. He was not popular in the sense that we know the word.
His life was made less than anything, though He had everything. I want to learn this humility, because it means rest; the rest that will carry me through being seen and unseen, as the Lord's will takes me.
No, I do not think Jesus is sympathetic with my perceived lack of popularity, or the opportunities I want to make fit that pass by me. I think these surface quandaries lead the way to His heart, so there is no obsession or reason to live other than knowing Him. There are no eyes that must see me any certain way. Least of all my own, and what I wanted for my own life has been forgotten a long time ago (I declare what all I dream of forgetting.)...in order for His dreams to take me. What I do or do not do does not so much matter. The way I love Him matters. If I lived in a jail cell, physically doing nothing but loving Him with my whole heart, my life would still not be wasted. In fact, love within limitations all the more shows the freedom He has given me to give myself to Him.
I am not deciding today to do any certain thing or start an particular work or project. I hear from God it will be more than sufficient to love Him and see what happens.
Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in Spirit/Chambers pg. 661
"Literally: Blessed are the paupers in Spirit" (A pauper is exceedingly common place.) The average type of preaching emphasizes strength of will, beauty of character--the things that can easily be noticed. The phrase "Decide for Christ" which we so often hear is too often an emphasis on the thing our Lord never trusted. Our Lord never asks us to decide for Him, He asks us to yield to Him--A very different matter. At the basis of Our Lord's Kingdom is the unaffected loveliness of the common place."
For those of us who look at those in the lead and wonder why we ourselves have not been placed in similar positions, we must wrestle with this ambition and jealousy, overtake it, and allow God to put into our own hands our own destiny. Truly, we would not be happy living someone else's. In short, at the root of my struggle with the mundane is my rebellion against God and my unwillingness to accept His precise goodness in His placement of the times of my life. The idea Chambers expresses is that to abort our divine pathway with God in order to steal someone else's or conjure up our own, would plunge us into un-Christlikeness, as opposed to an immersion in His presence--the cure for every antsiness known to man.
What was the last thing God asked me personally to do, no matter how "small"? He assures me,there is no lack of power in any act of love.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Risk it for Jesus
"Compassion breaks through social structure. When you stand for me (Jesus) and my heart for someone, you stand inside me. People don't see you they see me. This is why it is so important to leave self effort behind, because when you are within me you have different protection and freedom. You are operating in an uncharted range of effectiveness lifted so far beyond the way this world works. You will access in my Spirit great receptiveness to my presence as you stand with people. Religion might point and say these people will corrupt you, but when you are inside of me and allow my acceptance to be released through you, these people will be relieved by the chance to be consumed in Love. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable, to risk for my Spirit."
I was hearing this and at the same time wrestling with being a woman and being called to reach out to absolutely whomever God asks me to, regardless of any social standing. Now I'm not talking about doing stupid stuff and putting ourselves in dumb situations, obviously...common sense is a great gift from God. But there are safe, real and healthy times when God will ask me to push the envelope. To express compassion even though it seems like I shouldn't be the one doing it. Like someone else should--just to be on the safe side. Well, not everyone will have the impression of the great compassion of God all the time during prayer. What if it's me? Am I going to sit on my hands? Mary Magdalene "shouldn't" have been the one anointing Jesus' feet. Jesus "shouldn't" have been the one speaking to the woman at the well. The Samaritan "shouldn't" have helped the man on the road. The risks we take for Jesus greatly glorify Him. A God of "shouldn'ts". All our shouldn'ts are the points over which God turns on the spigot of the miraculous...the spigot of Love pouring into lives. God honestly doesn't see man or woman when He looks at us. He sees His image. He made us with our identity of course, and He planned us this way for reasons, of course. But if we always hold onto our world's standards for what our identity should look like, we don't get to soar in that place with Jesus where nothing matters but the heart and the moment. We instantly recoil from that place because it seems so vulnerable (not to mention way to easy and simple). In reality, there's so much protection for us there. We have no idea how much. A soft heart is a strong heart, an invincible heart. A heart so infused with God it becomes made up of heavenly stuff. Different cells. Crazy talk? There are people all over the world dying for Jesus, and they're not doing it because they decided to be strong enough to prove a point. They're doing it for Love, not Romeo and Juliet love. That's diminished. No this is LOVE. (Luke 7:36-50) This woman was messed up and she poured expensive, expensive perfume on Jesus and rubbed it in with her hair and mingled it with her tears. She was loved. She knew she was loved. She knew Jesus was loved by the Father. She knew He was Love in love's very essence. She and Jesus had no qualms about loving in front of Pharisees. What if this woman would have unhealthfully attached herself to Jesus? (Because isn't that what we're all so afraid of?) He's God. I'm pretty sure He would have perfectly walked her through it. Why are we embarrassed and afraid for Him? He doesn't need our guidance or help. As we take risks (in a heart of common sense) are we confident in our God? Does He know how to walk with people? If so then He knows how to walk with us, and our pure risks produce beyond measure. There are some things we don't have to always qualify.
I'm challenged to stop saying I will never know God's love...I will never get it. In my own life I see I have sometimes construed a portion of Ephesians to be a really comfy exit strategy. "I'm exempt from understanding and living out God's love because I'll never be able to know it."
The Word says more than that. God says that He can give us power to "grasp" His love, though it's beyond mental nailing down. So if I'm after the heart of God more than making sense out of Him in my head, my ideas about love will shift and I will encounter more relationship with Him.
Everything Jesus did was a revelation of God's love for people, and they got it! He went into their hearts and they were fully able to receive Him. I believe we can prepare to be surprised by the capacity for love and true compassion God will give us. If we don't have, maybe we just forgot to ask, because Jesus is willing! (Yes, it's Scriptural).
Ephesians 3:14
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives it's name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled with all the measure of all the fullness of God."
Even though we can't "ask or imagine", ALL the measure of ALL the fullness of God is ours. And we don't have to worry. Our perfect God can perfectly handle a bunch of Spirit-filled risk takers.
I was hearing this and at the same time wrestling with being a woman and being called to reach out to absolutely whomever God asks me to, regardless of any social standing. Now I'm not talking about doing stupid stuff and putting ourselves in dumb situations, obviously...common sense is a great gift from God. But there are safe, real and healthy times when God will ask me to push the envelope. To express compassion even though it seems like I shouldn't be the one doing it. Like someone else should--just to be on the safe side. Well, not everyone will have the impression of the great compassion of God all the time during prayer. What if it's me? Am I going to sit on my hands? Mary Magdalene "shouldn't" have been the one anointing Jesus' feet. Jesus "shouldn't" have been the one speaking to the woman at the well. The Samaritan "shouldn't" have helped the man on the road. The risks we take for Jesus greatly glorify Him. A God of "shouldn'ts". All our shouldn'ts are the points over which God turns on the spigot of the miraculous...the spigot of Love pouring into lives. God honestly doesn't see man or woman when He looks at us. He sees His image. He made us with our identity of course, and He planned us this way for reasons, of course. But if we always hold onto our world's standards for what our identity should look like, we don't get to soar in that place with Jesus where nothing matters but the heart and the moment. We instantly recoil from that place because it seems so vulnerable (not to mention way to easy and simple). In reality, there's so much protection for us there. We have no idea how much. A soft heart is a strong heart, an invincible heart. A heart so infused with God it becomes made up of heavenly stuff. Different cells. Crazy talk? There are people all over the world dying for Jesus, and they're not doing it because they decided to be strong enough to prove a point. They're doing it for Love, not Romeo and Juliet love. That's diminished. No this is LOVE. (Luke 7:36-50) This woman was messed up and she poured expensive, expensive perfume on Jesus and rubbed it in with her hair and mingled it with her tears. She was loved. She knew she was loved. She knew Jesus was loved by the Father. She knew He was Love in love's very essence. She and Jesus had no qualms about loving in front of Pharisees. What if this woman would have unhealthfully attached herself to Jesus? (Because isn't that what we're all so afraid of?) He's God. I'm pretty sure He would have perfectly walked her through it. Why are we embarrassed and afraid for Him? He doesn't need our guidance or help. As we take risks (in a heart of common sense) are we confident in our God? Does He know how to walk with people? If so then He knows how to walk with us, and our pure risks produce beyond measure. There are some things we don't have to always qualify.
I'm challenged to stop saying I will never know God's love...I will never get it. In my own life I see I have sometimes construed a portion of Ephesians to be a really comfy exit strategy. "I'm exempt from understanding and living out God's love because I'll never be able to know it."
The Word says more than that. God says that He can give us power to "grasp" His love, though it's beyond mental nailing down. So if I'm after the heart of God more than making sense out of Him in my head, my ideas about love will shift and I will encounter more relationship with Him.
Everything Jesus did was a revelation of God's love for people, and they got it! He went into their hearts and they were fully able to receive Him. I believe we can prepare to be surprised by the capacity for love and true compassion God will give us. If we don't have, maybe we just forgot to ask, because Jesus is willing! (Yes, it's Scriptural).
Ephesians 3:14
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives it's name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled with all the measure of all the fullness of God."
Even though we can't "ask or imagine", ALL the measure of ALL the fullness of God is ours. And we don't have to worry. Our perfect God can perfectly handle a bunch of Spirit-filled risk takers.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
He Can be Trusted!
"For I tell you that Christ (the Messiah) became a servant and a minister to the circumcised (the Jews) in order to show God's truthfulness and honesty by confirming (verifying) the promises given to our fathers. And also in order that the Gentiles (nations) might glorify God for His mercy (not covenanted) to them. As it is written, Therefore I will praise You among the Gentiles and sing praises to your name. Again it is said, Rejoice (exult) O Gentiles, along with His (own) people; And again, Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and let all the peoples praise Him!"
Romans 15: 8-11 Amplified
Here is a God who gives. Knowing our history, I read this and am completely astounded again by God. He keeps His word (especially though fought against) to show Himself completely truthful, honest, faithful and committed to us. Then, as if that weren't enough, He pours out mercy even in places He never bound Himself. What a revelation that God does not feel obligated to us, nor does He move or love out of obligation,manipulation or force. He is a Lover. He doesn't deny His own perfectly holy passion. Lively committment is His entire being, and thanks to God, we get in on all the enjoyment! We enjoy Him, He enjoys us....Joy all around....and glory all around.
Romans 15: 8-11 Amplified
Here is a God who gives. Knowing our history, I read this and am completely astounded again by God. He keeps His word (especially though fought against) to show Himself completely truthful, honest, faithful and committed to us. Then, as if that weren't enough, He pours out mercy even in places He never bound Himself. What a revelation that God does not feel obligated to us, nor does He move or love out of obligation,manipulation or force. He is a Lover. He doesn't deny His own perfectly holy passion. Lively committment is His entire being, and thanks to God, we get in on all the enjoyment! We enjoy Him, He enjoys us....Joy all around....and glory all around.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Moon Walk
Nice night for a walk. I love the moon.
Sometimes clouds look like the ocean, when they pace over a sky
Backlighted with green-blue space bulbs
Have you ever seen night clouds rush?
Stars stand still and waves move past them
But nothing dislodges
Sky is different from ocean; Ocean floor moves
Atmosphere stands still and star pages turn within it
Ocean changes, sky is numerous, more so than humanity's mind
In some ways the same, deep and high
Astounding waves above me and below me, in town I see
Sky and think of ocean
Both brought near
The moon smiles and glows, bright and whole
Full, low, floating with
The winsome lull
Sometimes clouds look like the ocean, when they pace over a sky
Backlighted with green-blue space bulbs
Have you ever seen night clouds rush?
Stars stand still and waves move past them
But nothing dislodges
Sky is different from ocean; Ocean floor moves
Atmosphere stands still and star pages turn within it
Ocean changes, sky is numerous, more so than humanity's mind
In some ways the same, deep and high
Astounding waves above me and below me, in town I see
Sky and think of ocean
Both brought near
The moon smiles and glows, bright and whole
Full, low, floating with
The winsome lull
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
funnel
a picture started to unfold in my head of the world in darkness and me as a little funnel somewhere in the midst. and there was a huge white cloud hovering over the earth, but the cloud couldn't descend to come in contact with the darkness. the cloud needed a funnel. and the cloud was a lot bigger than the world. the cloud could fill all the darkness if it just had a few funnels to use. and when the cloud saw that it could use me as a funnel, it did.
the picture was so intense, because if the darkness is big, then the love of god is so much bigger. the darkness won't put it out. it can't, because it's not big enough. but there is a lot of it, and it is dark. as the light of the cloud started funneling through me and the stream of light got brighter and more intense, my little funnel started to shake and shudder like it was funneling the tail of a rocket through it. i don't know what that part means... but it gave me hope. god is bigger. his love is more intense than my darkness, and than that of anyone i come in contact with. i hope i am a little funnel, allowing his light into the world. and if it breaks me in the end, loving that much, then so be it. there is nothing else worthwhile.
set down your burdens.
--Joanna Shoemaker
the picture was so intense, because if the darkness is big, then the love of god is so much bigger. the darkness won't put it out. it can't, because it's not big enough. but there is a lot of it, and it is dark. as the light of the cloud started funneling through me and the stream of light got brighter and more intense, my little funnel started to shake and shudder like it was funneling the tail of a rocket through it. i don't know what that part means... but it gave me hope. god is bigger. his love is more intense than my darkness, and than that of anyone i come in contact with. i hope i am a little funnel, allowing his light into the world. and if it breaks me in the end, loving that much, then so be it. there is nothing else worthwhile.
set down your burdens.
--Joanna Shoemaker
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Holiday Prayer
Jesus, I don't want to miss out on what you are doing this season--on what you have for me or my family. I want to hit the mark your Spirit is putting before me. Lord I pray that you would clear my focus, be God of my words and of my thoughts...especially of everything that comes out of my mouth. It's so easy to be frustrated by people in the store, on the road--or even in my home. Protect me from that frustration, God. Break it off my life at the root and as the enemy tries to assault me. I pray instead that I would hide myself away in you, so that you can speak to me and you can draw me and meet me. Lord, there's such a high expectation for enjoyment on these times, and so there's that pressure we put on each other to be perfect, so the atmosphere will be perfect. Jesus, we want so much to be happy, but we will never find that perfection except in you. The hours will go by and it will soon be "the day after Thanksgiving", and "the day after Christmas." God I pray that all of our hope would be set on you. I pray that in a new way you will be the center of our tables. God as we eat I pray that our thoughts would turn to you, how much you have always done for us, and that we would also have our hearts opened to sense how great your future plans are for us. I pray for your peace. I pray for a miracle of peace, that we would turn ourselves to you, God, and that you would come and settle us down.
I yield my desire for things to be a certain way, look a certain way, feel a certain way. I pray not for a filling of great feelings, but for a greater filling of your Holy Spirit. I pray that your Holy Spirit would captivate me and those I love. That we would seek to spend hours with each other in your presence, that we would experience for real your love for us. Thank you that we don't have to worry about what anyone thinks of us--we are free to live and move and have our being in you.
I pray that we will finish this season well. I pray that we will look back on what you have done in lives with excitement, be free of the dread of credit card bills, and have memories of key moments when you met us. If we have conflict I pray that we will respond in the opposite Spirit because we have taken the time to let you cover us and affirm us. I pray for favor with family members and peace as is possible in households. I ask for patience for all of us, and faith, that we could minister your move fearlessly.
Most of all, I pray that none of this would be accomplished because we relied on ourselves, but because we are in love with you and your Spirit has carried us. May we truly soar this year on your beautiful heart for us and the intimacy we have with you, our Strong Dad who is rejoicing over us that by his grace we have have been more than conquerors in 2010.
In Jesus Name, Amen
I yield my desire for things to be a certain way, look a certain way, feel a certain way. I pray not for a filling of great feelings, but for a greater filling of your Holy Spirit. I pray that your Holy Spirit would captivate me and those I love. That we would seek to spend hours with each other in your presence, that we would experience for real your love for us. Thank you that we don't have to worry about what anyone thinks of us--we are free to live and move and have our being in you.
I pray that we will finish this season well. I pray that we will look back on what you have done in lives with excitement, be free of the dread of credit card bills, and have memories of key moments when you met us. If we have conflict I pray that we will respond in the opposite Spirit because we have taken the time to let you cover us and affirm us. I pray for favor with family members and peace as is possible in households. I ask for patience for all of us, and faith, that we could minister your move fearlessly.
Most of all, I pray that none of this would be accomplished because we relied on ourselves, but because we are in love with you and your Spirit has carried us. May we truly soar this year on your beautiful heart for us and the intimacy we have with you, our Strong Dad who is rejoicing over us that by his grace we have have been more than conquerors in 2010.
In Jesus Name, Amen
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